Prepare Ye the Way

So about a year and half ago, as we were just beginning to think maybe this baby making thing was a little more complicated then we expected, I stumbled across this idea of the common thread.

http://www.stirrup-queens.com/2006/09/history-of-infertilitys-common-thread/

I liked the idea not just that it identified me to others, but that by joining the larger community I could draw strength from this. It became part of my armour.

So my on my first thread I included a green bead. Green in Italian culture represents fertility. I thought that these two ancient colors would bring us that little extra boost we needed.

Ironically it broke shortly before we began working with our clinic and started medicated IUI cycles.

So next I went traditional. I simply created my common thread from the exact match thread. Its been on since last fall.

Yesterday, we had our consult with our RE following our worst failed cycle yet. It's time for a new plan. Starting in May we will begin our first IVF. There is no way we would have been prepared to have this conversation even 6 months ago. It was not an easy decision even now. But we have thought, and read, and talked, and prayed, and studied and talked and thought some more. And after all these years we feel this is the right choice for us. And now we are both filled with a sense of peace and control that we haven't felt since before our very first doctors appointment almost 2 years ago. Even though its invasive and difficult, I am less afraid of this then I have been of any other procedure.

Since we are embarking on a new phase of this journey, I thought it might be time to update my thread. This process is going to be physically and mentally draining, so I am trying to do lots of things I like, to create fun opportunities, to treat myself. So I have taken some liberty with the original design.

The beads read Wish, Hope, Create, Believe. This is the order I feel my infertility journey has take, from simply wishing to a point where I am creating and taking action. And now faith must guide me to beielve that this will work. The beads are garents, not just because of their pomegrante color but because they are my birthstone.

But I am also keeping my common thread. My new bracelet symbolizes this new part of my journey and the unique path we have taken, but the common thread keeps me bound to those who have come before me, and those who will come after.